A Week

I can't believe it's been a week already. It's gone by so fast, and yet it's hard to believe that there was ever a time when Landon wasn't a part of our family. He instantly filled up the hole in our family that we didn't even know was there until he came. I found when I was pregnant with him that it was hard for me to feel a connection between us- a bond, if you will. I think I was so busy taking care of the other kids that I didn't have time to really think about it. But as soon as I heard his cry and saw his little face I was in love. I wish there was a way to describe in words the bond you feel with your children.....

He's my little monkey, and if I could I would spend every minute holding and cuddling him. His siblings feel the same, however, so I have to share him. Kensie is like a second mother to him, carrying him around and singing to him. She's even got the instinctive "mother's bounce" down.

Lincoln's been the surprise nurturer. The kid rarely sits still, but give him the baby and he'll hold him forever. He's constantly in Landon's face giving kisses and is very concerned about his well being. He will tell you if you're not holding the baby right, or if he thinks the baby needs his binky, blanket, etc. Sometimes he's a little too helpful and it's hard for me not to get frustrated with him.

Jackson loves Landon, but only feels the need to hold him every now and then. He'll kiss him and run off to play with his cars again. So far he's adjusted well, but he definitely let's you know when he's in need of a little attention!

You'd think that by kid #4 I'd be a pro, but there have been several things that I've had to re-learn. Breastfeeding is number one. Just because it's been easy before does not mean it will be easy every time. We're just now getting the hang of it, which has been hard for me because it always came so easily with the other kids.

I've also had to re-learn how to take it easy. This was a little easier for me to do since the dreaded PSD kept me from doing things that last month anyway {by the way, as soon as I was not numb and able to walk after the surgery I was fine- PSD wise. NO pain from my pubic bone. Hallelujah! Of course, now I have different pain to deal with....}. Luckily Matt was home for a few days to help and my mom has been here cleaning, doing laundry, and scrubbing nooks and crannies that I didn't even know existed. I've had meals from fabulous friends, and play dates for the other kids with cousins and friends. Six weeks until I can pick up Jackson for a hug seems like an eternity. Six weeks until I can vacuum the house, however, does not seem long enough!



*yes, my kid is yellow. The dr. said he thinks he's okay, but I'm calling on Monday to have him checked again.....

The Birth

It's a surreal feeling to wake up one morning and march yourself into the hospital knowing that in a few hours you will have brought a new life into the world.

Walking into the freezing cold operating room voluntarily to subject yourself to a spinal injection, then staring up at the ceiling and a blue sheet as you hear and smell (oh yes, there are smells) -but don't feel- what is happening as your baby is being born is even more surreal.

Everything went really well. I hardly even had "the shakes", which I typically get for a few hours after the surgery. That was so nice! I was also able to eat a normal dinner that night which I've never been able to do before. I was happy to have more than broth and jello!! The hospital stay was as it always is- a billion doctors and nurses coming in at all hours to check on me and the baby. I told myself before I went in that I was going to let them take the baby to the nursery at night so I could rest, but once I laid eyes on him there was no way I was letting him out of my sight!

We had lots of time to ourselves, which was nice, but I also looked forward to visits from Matt & the kids. They loved coming to visit the baby, but I think the boys secretly liked their trips to the cafeteria and playing bus driver with the IV and laundry carts the best!

It was great to come home to my own bed on Sunday. Home is the best.

He's Here!

Landon Bryan Holbrook
was born on May 13, 2010 at 10:58 a.m.
Weight: 8 pounds 13 ounces
Length: 21 inches

We came home from the hospital yesterday. Everything went great with the surgery and I'm recovering well. Now that I'm home I've got to remember to take it easy.....easier said than done, but I'm trying! Landon is dreamy, and I'm pretty sure he has been held since the moment of his birth. He's going to be one spoiled kid!!

I'll post more details later but right now I've got to go kiss some baby cheeks!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow's the day.

I really can't believe it. Tomorrow at this time I will have made it through another c-section, heard my baby cry for the first time, gotten over "the shakes", and will be mugging on cute baby cheeks!

Tomorrow at this time all my anxiety about surgery and having a baby who looks like Sloth {if you watch Goonies with your kids right before bed/dream time when you're 39 weeks pregnant you might have the same anxiety} will be gone and I will be able to focus on recovering and getting to know my little guy.

Tomorrow at this time I'm sure I'll be in some pain, but it won't be worse than what I'm feeling right now {PSD, how I loathe thee}.

Tomorrow at this time all my dignity will be gone {again} as nurses and doctors come in and out to check me, and I try not to think about how many interns and residents have seen me naked. But it's all SO worth it!

Tomorrow at this time I will be wearing a sweet nursing hospital gown.

Tomorrow at this time I'll be smiling. And crying. Probably at the same time. That's how I roll.

Wish me luck!

Mother's Day

Kensie wrote me a note,



Lincoln gave me a handprint,



Jackson decorated my belly with stickers,
What more could a mother ask for?

A Very Merry Un-Birthday

Noelle, Kensie, Ella, Sammy, and Hannah

Kensie had her birthday party on May 1st this year. I wanted to make sure she got to celebrate with her friends since her real birthday is the day after I have the baby. This year we had her party at the Sorensen Home in Draper. It is a cute little Victorian home/museum.

The girls had so much fun!

They got a tour of the house,




Learned all about how they lived in the 1800's,




Made bracelets and handkerchief dolls,



Played lots of games in the parlor,


And had tea and cupcakes.

They even got to shop in the candy store (of course my camera ran out of batteries at this point). The best part for me {besides seeing the kids have fun} was that I didn't have to do a darn thing! Dreamy!


Kensie got to choose a porcelain doll to take home.


It was a fun day, and now that it's over I can start focusing on having a baby in less than 2 weeks!!!